Watch the seam rip

"Heal Over" by KT Tunstall

2009-07-06T19:23:00.001-07:00

It isn't very difficult to see why
You are the way you are
Doesn't take a genius to realise
That sometimes life is hard
It's gonna take time
But you'll just have to wait
You're gonna be fine
But in the meantime

Come over here lady
Let me wipe your tears away
Come a little nearer baby
Coz you'll heal over
Heal over
Heal over someday

And I don't wanna hear you tell yourself
That these feelings are in the past
You know it doesn't mean they're off the shelf
Because pain's built to last
Everybody sails alone
But we can travel side by side
Even if you fail
You know that no one really minds
Come over here lady

Don't hold on but don't let go
I know it's so hard
You've got to try to trust yourself
I know it's so hard, so hard

Come over here lady
Let me wipe your tears away
Come a little nearer baby
Coz you'll heal over, heal over, heal over someday

Wednesday th 18th, Centro & Dinner with Tio Johnny

2009-02-19T11:01:00.001-08:00

We headed downtown again; I don't think its possible to get bored of watching people. The kids seem to be really punk rock, and the skinny jean lives here proudly :) We had lunch at a peruvian restaurant with one of my dads best friends, Enrique. A lovely gentleman, he spoke mainly english to me, so I was able to actually have a conversation! My broken Spanish continues to frustrate me, although I can hear it getting better. Enrique has started a construction business, and the broker in me immediately asked him about his course of construction....ahhh, old habits die hard. I was suprised to find out that they don't have it here, as insurance is kind of a new thing here in South America. I imagine with the corruption of most of the governments, it would be exceedingly difficult to manage risk. Where there is a will, there is a way, and I suppose it won`t be long. I know Aviva has an office here...just another reason to become fluent in the language!

We walked a little further to Mc Iver street to check out the Jewellry (Bling Bling, Dad is getting me some gold hoops!) and we walked past the theatre...equivalent to the Queen Elizabeth? So Beautiful! My Dad informs me he's only been there once, must be a pretty swish place ;)

We came home in time for a nap (the sun is so exhausting!) and then headed to the wine district of Maipu, which is where my uncle Johnny lives. We enjoyed dinner with his beautiful wife Yasna, and three delightful kids Tomas (16) Sofia (11) and Antonia (9). It was a wonderful night, Tio Johnny is an incredibly gifted artist and his house is a reflection of his creativity, full of art, eclectic furniture and light fixtures. Yasna is a lovely cook, and we ate, drank and conversed all night. The family photos are all being posted on FB, so consult there for more description!

It is a beautiful day in the neighbourhood. Centro, that is!

2009-02-17T17:02:00.000-08:00

It was a hot one in Santiago today; we left the house at 1:30 pm and it was 30 degrees and rising. I talked my dad into bussing around today; we caught the 508 downtown to the Plaza de Armas. It is the centre of the city and what is now called Plaza de Lima in a tongue in cheek manner by Chilenos, a reference to the amount of Peruvians that have immigrated here.

It was packed full of people shopping, eating and generally milling around. Right now we are at the end of summer vacation, and all the kids go back to school March 2nd, so there were a lot of loitering teenagers...some things are universal, non? Plaza de Armas is basically a large square surrounded by buildings, namely city hall, the post office and Cathedral de Santiago. There is a large fountain in the middle, and a section for artists to sell thier paintings. It is similar in feel to Granville street downtown in terms of shopping, department stores and smaller boutiques, but you know...much, much older.

We came home to Tia Patti, with her Granddaughter Amelia (daughter of my cousin Paola). The family resemblances make me laugh, all the girls look like thier mom, and all the boys looks like thier dad. My Tia Patti looks just like my Tia Pily, and I can see her in Paola and Amelia As well. We are having dinner with them Thursday night, I will post the photos asap.

santiago, 15th &16 th

2009-02-16T08:43:00.000-08:00

It was a long haul from Vancouver to Santiago. We left the house at 4:30 am to catch our 5 oclock shuttle to Seattle. Our 1:30 flight to Dallas was about a half an hour behind schedule, but our pilot made it up in the sky, no problem. I`ve never flown american airlines before, and I`ve got to admit, Ì was prepared for disaster, but was plesantly surprised. Besides the fact that the planes were clearly not as shiny and new as the Westjet planes I`m used to, nor are the flight attendants nearly as cheerful, they were still very professional, competant, and beyond the unreal amount of turbulence on they way into Dallas, the flight was outstanding. The same could be said of the flight into Santiago, although next time I think we are coughing up for the upgrade to first class...it`s simply not possible to get a decent sleep in coach. Getting through customs was also very interesting. I was unaware of the $132USD fee to get into the country, because of my canadian citizenship. Ouch!! Once that was out of the way, along with getting my passport stamped and clearing my luggage, i was greeted by my long lost uncles, Tio Johnny & Tio Marcelo. It`s funny, I haven`t seen them in nearly twenty years, and even though I can see how theyve aged, they look exactly the same to me :) We swung by Tio Johnny`s place for a little breakfast, and I got to meet his wife Jasna, his son Tomas who just turned 17 (so handsome!!) on the 14th and his two daughters Cecilia & Antonio (dead ringers for Yvonne. They are just like what I image she and I were like at that age). The beginning of family that Ive never met!! Tio Johnny got married after I visited last, so although Ì am facebook friends with my cousins, this is the first time I`ve met them.

We headed further into town, to the apartment of my Abuelita. I must admit to getting a little teary eyed at seeing her, it has been so long, but she is still so beautiful. I really wish that I had taken a spanish course before I left, so I can talk to her some more, but I can already feel it coming back, so hopefully I`ll be in better shape by the end of the trip :) Its very interesting to watch my Tio Marcelo with her. He is the last single uncle, and he still lives with her, taking care of her. I hope that myy children take as good a care of me when I`m her age!!

I must admit I didn`t last long, I was totally exhausted, took an enormous afternoon nap, woke up in time for tea, and went right back to bed. Tio Marcelo was kind enough to give me his bed for this trip, and I slept like a corpse.

I woke this morning to the sound of breakfast. mmmm, fresh bread and manjar...if I`m not careful, I`m going to be as big as a house when I leave. We left the house for groceries, which was SO much fun...I wish i could have wandered around a little more looking at what they have. So much is marketed in English, it was really interesting to see. there is very little that is fresh, most things are canned or powdered. I can`t help but wonder if this is because of the heat- fresh things would go bad so much more quickly, and air conditioning is not the norm here.

We are just about the have lunch, so I`ll sign off for now. More to come later, with lots of pictures!

Three more sleeps

2009-02-11T13:10:00.000-08:00

After eighteen long years of absence, I am returning to the motherland. Well, the fatherland to be more precise. Santiago, Chile-Here I Come! I was sad to learn of the 18% sales tax, though...that's going to cut a hole into my shopping.

John Hughes

2009-01-13T20:53:00.000-08:00

I think all his movies should be mandatory viewing for human beings in North America.

Sixteen Candles is on TV right now...none of our current teen movies, and I mean *none* of them compare to the emotion and awkwardness captured by JH. He just gets it, without ever being cheesy. Well, without being too cheesy. It can't be easy, especially considering how trite the subject matter is.

"Not many girls in contemporary society would give their panties to help a geek like me."

What more can you ask for??

An open letter to John Mayer

2008-11-02T21:58:00.000-08:00

Dear John,

Hmm, that doesn't open very well does it? I guess we'll have to blame your mother for that and move on. I was listening to your music tonight, thinking about the relationship I've had with it and to some degree you, for the past 8 years. Now, I don't know you personally. We've never met, much less had coffee, established a friendship or even something more meaningful. However, I feel as though I have come to know you to some degree through your music. I'm sure this is the intention of every artist, and it is a testament to your talent at how successful you are at putting into words the sentiments of our generation. Confusion, loneliness, indecision, love (or what we can only hope is love) is all there for the world to hear and feel. I think the secret of your success lies in the fact that your songs are never condescending. The don't preach, they simply reveal your perception of the experience. Your guitar skills aren't shabby either.

So when did it all go downhill? When did you go from being a rock star that only occasionally granted a terribly clever interview to what appears to be a total media junkie?

It begs the questions: When did you start reading your own press? And more to the point, WHY did you start reading your own press?? Wasn't counting your Grammies enough? Hundreds of thousands of fans pay obscene amounts of money to attend your concerts. Your songs are top 40 and famous artists would give a kidney to work with you on projects. When did that stop being enough? When did it PUBLICLY become about insecure blondes and tabloids? Your private life used to be exactly that- private. And I loved your for it, I truly did. It was cool that you wrote for Rolling Stone, because that was a tiny glimpse. But This? This is too much. This is the part where I interject a note about work/life balance.

Work is work. Music, recording, concerts, award shows-That's work, and that's public. Family, relationship and for god sakes breakups-those are private. Don't tell your publicists, and it goes without saying (at least I thought it did) that you don't tell the paps. Because we know you dumped her. Obviously you dumped her, she's an insecure old lady who is worried about her ovaries shriveling. You are a handsome, famous man with chicken heads throwing themselves at you 24-7. We see who is wearing the pants in the situation. Move on and let her save face, she has the world's pity, don't lose sleep.

This got a little long winded on me, sorry about that. What I've been meaning to say is this: your music is awesome. You used to appear awesome, and now you appear desperate. How the hell did that happen? Bottom line- you are better than this sh-t. So stop it, right now. Fire your publicist. Fire her publicist. Go underground. Need tips? Call Joshua and Diane, or Ryan and Rachel, hell even Ashton and Demi are better at it that you have been.

One final note: The next album better not be about desperate wanna-be's that stalk you and demand commitment, otherwise 'we' are friends off.

Your (once) loyal fan,
Christine

homelife

2008-07-22T21:23:00.000-07:00

I find it so interesting that after three years in Vancouver, I am homesick for Edmonton. Not the city so much as my family and friends and the lives that they've built for themselves. Perhaps independence has grown a bit lonely.My yearning to see the world hasn't lessened. If nothing else, it has grown with every trip I take. The need to share it with someone constant has recently become a larger part of me than I think it's ever been. Blame a two year dry spell, or a full moon, hell blame it on the rain. I can't help but wonder if there is something more I should be looking for.

monday afternoon

2008-06-30T14:56:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting on the patio of The Snug, coffee house extraordinaire on Bowen Island. I've just finished a surprisingly tasty roast beast sandwich. The most entertaining part of this non-afternoon is the group of old men discussing politics; half educated comments, half 'save the world' theory. I'm ignoring Nick Hornby to eavesdrop on a conversation that is part interesting and part annoying. Will I sound like this when I get old? This sense of entitled opinion is mildly worrisome...

The Way I See It #26

2008-05-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

"Failure's hard, but success is far more dangerous. If you're successful at the wrong thing, the mix of praise and money and opportunity can lock you in forever."

This is perhaps the scariest thing I've read in a long time. A very succint reminder that the hard way can turn into the easy way if you let it. Sometimes to remember your dreams, you need to forget comfort and security.

Signs

2008-04-01T13:04:00.000-07:00

Ever get the feeling the Universe is protecting you?

I love the way you say good morning

2008-02-25T23:00:00.000-08:00

John Mayer Concert

2007-06-10T22:58:00.000-07:00

In the process of cleaning out my room (go team!) I found the set list from the JM concert of last month.

Kathleen Edwards opened up for him (and was outstanding). I can't lie, though. I would have loved to see Corrinne Bailey Rae.

Ok, from the top:
Belief
No Such Thing
Good love is on the way
Slow dancing in a burning room
Bigger than my body
Waiting on the world
Clarity ( I welled)
Heart of life (ok, I cried)
Vultures
Don't need no Doctor
Why Georgia
Gravity

Encore:
Your Body is a Wonderland
I'll find another you

It was an awesome night; Michelle & Tracey are fabulous women to concert with. All in all, a lovely evening at the Pacific Coliseum.

It would be so easy

2007-04-12T21:09:00.000-07:00

So I danced

2007-04-11T22:36:00.000-07:00

Today I read words
that made me
seefeelhear:
Thelonius under my heart,
Coltrane sliding down my spine,
Brubeck tapping through my toes.
Emanating from my insides.

Like a black silhouette on a
Bright green background
For a moment in time
I was completely entranced
By the music.

So I danced.

coughcough*

2007-04-11T17:01:00.000-07:00

Siiiiigh. The doctor swabbed for strep throat. I'll know by tomorrow. In the meantime I have managed to sleep the day away, and now that I have been awake for 2 hours, I am contemplating going back to bed. Although I might put it off for a few hours, just so I can sleep for the whole night.

I hatehatehate being sick. Especially when it's sunny and nice out, I have to miss a yoga class, and all I want to be doing is playing in my garden.

:(

Jesus is my homeboy, but...

2007-04-08T22:10:00.000-07:00

**Warning--I am about to stand on my Christian Soap Box. If you aren't into Jesus, save yourself the trouble, and MOVE ON**

I think I just might be over this whole 'Catholic Church' thing. Quite frankly, all the press lately has been bad, and in spite of that, every time I attend mass, I end up leaving the same way- midly pissed off.

I attended easter mass this evening. Christ is Risen! Spread the Good News!

How can you make one of the greatest miracles this world has known into something boring and unrelatable? I think I just can' t deal with a sixty year old, overly institutionalized white dude telling me how I should be believing in Jesus.

The priest starts talking about how we are all so hung up on all the 'Bad News' we hear, that we've stopped spreading the 'Good News.' The minute those words left his mouth, all I could think of was- SHUTTHEFUCKUP. Are you serious? Because if you are looking for a propaganda moment, telling people to ignore the pain and suffering in the world so they can praise Jesus probably isn't the way to go. How about 'Give thanks and be grateful that the lord has given us a land of peace; but do not take this peace for granted. We still have our battles to wage- battles against the evils of poverty and social injustice, battles against prostitution, drug abuse, violence and crime. Pray to the lord for strength, but remember, God helps those who helps themselves-go forth and change your world.' Or even 'Pray for those who are suffering, who are weak, who are in pain. When you watch the news, pray for all of those who need his help, and be grateful for all that you have been blessed with.' Instead, all I got was 'Be ignorant of the world so you can know God Better.' Which I think may be the biggest contradiction in terms I've heard in a long, long time.

Now, If he had pursued the False Idols angle a little more, I may have been on board. I fully agree that I spend more time reading Laineygossip.com then I do reading the Bible. And since that makes me a bad Christian, Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned. But that's not where he was going with things...or maybe he was. Truthfully, he was a lousy public speaker, and he lost me on numerous occations. Pissed me off on a few as well. He kept forgetting words to Rituals. How many times do you need to repeat something before you've got it? Practice in the shower, for pete's sake!

But I digress.

He gets on this bend about how many new members we got this week. 15. Not too shabby. Can I make a suggestion? It's the first time I've been to this church since Christmas. Maybe we should focus on engaging the people who have already committed? Here's what stops me from coming- I don't like going to church, because I never leave inspired by my faith. And considering how much cool stuff Jesus did while he was around, and the lessons he tried to teach, that is a crying shame. So I ask this question: Why isn't my Church an instrument in inspiring change? God has taught me that what I do unto the least of his creatures, I do unto him. This is motivation for me to help, not just by being charitable, but by being part of something that makes the world a better place to be.

This is not a 'what would Jesus do?' cliche. This is a 'What would Jesus think?' Moment of Shame. I feel guilty every time I tell a panhandler that I can't help them. I can-- I just haven't figured out how yet. But my Christian value of human life is telling me that God is giving me the opportunity to make the world a better place. So I had better get on it.

I don't think he'd be very impressed at how we've let things slide. Lucky for all of us, he's known to be forgiving.

New House!

2007-03-21T00:13:00.000-07:00

So Benji & I have successfully moved into the new place. Considering the sheer size of it, it's going to take a bit to get it the way we want it, seeing as how we need some major furniture...but that's ok, because we have a good idea of how we'd like it (I think. He's leaving it mostly to me. Which is fine, considering he is a mostly absentee roomate, anyhow.)

I'm just excited for the room. Oh, the rooooooooooooom. Anyone who knew my old place knows exactly what I'm talking about. *sigh* I can roll my yoga mat out in the living room without moving furniture (shocking!) I have enough counter space to make an entree and a salad AT THE SAME TIME.

It's truly divine.

Best part though? we've got our own washer and dryer....mmmm.....midnight laundry...

Hello, my name is Christine, and I have a problem (Hello Christine)

Stay tuned for the housewarming party details....

PS If I could only buy furniture at one place for the rest of my life, it would be from www.restorationhardware.com Turner Canopy Bed, anyone? I would never leave it.....

Just me & my French Curve

2007-02-10T21:16:00.001-08:00

So I went to Dressew and committed to my fabrics today...a leap into the great risk that is opportunity. I now find my evening full of technical details; measurements and drafting, prewashing and ironing. I've forgotten how much I love this It feels so right to be doing this again, although I know it's going to be dictating my life for the next month and a half. It's time to embrace my old university mantra 'I can sleep when I'm dead.' Ha!

This is a nerve-wracking process. I'm already doubting my fabric pattern, which is stupid, because I know it's going to look adorable, and the cuts are going to be flattering. The risk that a collection isn't going to sell is always the worry. Time to draw from the well of self assurance- there is no use in losing the race before I've crossed the finish line. I can also re-assure myself that the only real loss will be whatever time and money I invest, which, in the long run, will be fairly minimal (well, the money part, anyways. Time is relative.)

So Chrys begins it's birth in a small city hall apartment, in Vancouver BC. Where's the bottle of champagne when you need it?!

Starbucks Wisdom

2007-02-09T11:36:00.000-08:00

While I am wary of 'wisdom' dispensed by a major corporations, I will give Starbucks a nod for "The Way I See It #196"

The greatest leader is a servant. Don't be a boss. Be a real leader, a servant leader. A servant leader is a winner. Even when he loses everything, even when he loses his life, a servant leader wins it all. -- Pat Williams, Senior VP, Orlando Magic

Not that I am condoning Martyrdom, it just feels like it's been a long time since there has been a real Leader on our radar, as a culture and society. Someone who inspires us to do the right thing, not someone who is trying for fame or fortune. This makes me wonder if this is why extremist groups have such success today. Are we so desperate for a leader, that entire sects of our population will follow whomever offers salvation?

Ironic

2007-02-01T19:49:00.000-08:00

I find it ironic that the only person who defends curvy women and actually gets listened to, gets unadulterated support, media attention, the cover of People magazine, used to be part of the machine that makes the media so critical of curvy women in the first place.

But I salute your 'fat ass' anyways, Tyra. Because I know it was a brave, brave thing that you did.

The thing about a bully is, if you let 'em walk all over you, they will. You have to punch them in the nose if you ever want them to leave you alone.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RTmyFQJ16EE

All Growed Up

2007-02-01T19:28:00.000-08:00

Another milestone in adulthood...I gave notice to my landlord. That's right, I'm kissing this 500sq foot pain in the ass goodbye! I am investing in Kevlar, and moving to the east side- to a place with bath tubs, pantries, a washer and dryer ALL TO MYSELF (well, and Ben).

And a live in rock star. BOO Yah! In case I haven't dropped the name in a while www.benjaminkeithmusic.com check check it out!

Maybe I should get my tattoo before I move, just to cement the irony.

Lyric of the day

2007-02-01T19:07:00.000-08:00

You know, I'm a woman who is really ok with being single. I don't date for the sake of having someone (been there, done that). But sometimes a girl gets lonely. It's funny, because it isn't a situation that I usually pay attention to, and it always catches me by surprise. It's always someone out of my past, a situation that has become rosier in my mind then it ever was in reality. I got a blast from the past today, and for a moment, I was a million miles away from the man I always thought I wanted, but *really* isn't good for me. I know in my mind that we are not a match. I thought my heart had caught on. Apparently not.

So I would like to take a moment to pay homage to Patty Griffin, who has a song called 'Moses'.

It was exactly how I felt this afternoon. Here is a chunk of it.

'Everywhere is somewhere And nowhere is near
Everybody got somebody with their wine and their beer
So I'm just this tragic figure in the corner over here
…
Everytime I see him he smiles
And he tells me how well he's walking these miles
But he never ever asks a single thing about me
If I die, he'd hear about it eventually’

I don't mean for this to be all 'poor me' because that's not what I'm getting at. I just think it's funny how your emotions can take you by surprise sometimes. I consider myself fairly self-aware. It's good for me to know there is still a lot of room left for growth.

my people!

2007-01-08T00:09:00.000-08:00

I have found my people!

www.quirkyalone.net

i need to get my hands on that book...

The Strombo Show!

2007-01-07T20:08:00.000-08:00

Holy Crap,

George just gave me a shout out on his radio show for my support of Harold & Kumar....Myspace is a magical place :)

SO COOL!

new pic

2007-01-03T19:22:00.000-08:00

Photograph by Andrew Waring www.andrewwaring.com
Make up by Chelsey Morash www.myspace.com/chelzlee

Ring it in!

2006-12-31T18:25:00.000-08:00

Well kids, this it it.

The end is near, it's time for beer...or anything else that's bubbly and alcoholic :)

Where does this fateful day find you? I'm currently snuggled up in my fleece robe, watching TV and deciding if I'll work up enough energy to go to the party upstairs, or if I'll just stick to Carson Daly on the box. Truthfully, I'm lame this year because I'm sick (again? still? Can't decide). Either way, I've got very little party in me right now. Maybe I just need a nap. Or a drink.

It's been a big year; first real job, learned how to snowboard. I think this was a year to get on my feet, though. In the search for security, I misplaced my dreams. That is a dangerous thing to lose sight of, so 2007 is going to be the year that I get what I came here for-Fashion, baby!

A top seven resolutions:

1) Get at least 1 tatoo.
2) Go to a country I've never been to before.
3) Learn how to sail.
4) Climb Grouse Mountain.
5) New Apartment!
6) Launch my Spring Line
7) New Job! In my Field!

Why not ten? Hey, ten is a lot. I figure, they'll come to me as the year goes on.

How was your year? Was it full of peace, or chaos? Love or disinterest? Stress or Harmony?

What is your hope for this new beginning?

Get home safe tonight.

XoXo & PPL,
C.

Busy Weeked!

2006-12-12T22:29:00.000-08:00

So busy it took me three days to write about it...

Friday night. National's AGM...but that's not the big news (well...I did a small presentation in front of the group--nerve wracking, but it went well).

On a jaunt between the last meeting and dinner, I got a lead on a job teaching textiles at one of the local fashion colleges...I can only hope they'll hire me with no teaching experience.

Saturday afternoon: First Snowboarding lesson at Cypress! In the pouring rain! Only in Vancouver, my friends. I found out in no uncertain terms that the only piece of waterproof clothing I had on were my ski pants. But I was still able to make it down the hill by the end of my two hours. Alisa is the best teacher ever!

Here is my plan for lesson two.....

Hee hee! However Sunday and Monday were almost complete write offs, as I could barely move. *groans* there were old man noises all over the place...But it has gotten better...and my massage with Michael tomorrow should be icing on the cake.

Werd. Looks like music on Friday night, and Festivus on Saturday. Good Times.

Sniffle Sniffle

2006-11-23T18:14:00.000-08:00

I hate being sick.

But I looooove Tylenol Cold and Flu.

Birfday....

2006-11-18T02:54:00.000-08:00

Hmmm, delicious dinner, bootie shaking at The Royal- where I met many interesting new people.
It's always good to know your neighbours....

Happy 24th birthday to me, so it would seem....

The Fray

2006-11-16T11:55:00.000-08:00

'How to save a life'

Drive until we lose the road......

What a perfect lyric.

I'm Sorry Sam!

2006-10-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

So I attended a Benjamin Keith gig at the Purple Crab last Thursday night. If you haven't heard of him, please check out www.benjaminkeithmusic.com (you'll be glad you did). Well, besides being my local guitar god, this man is also my guitar teacher. Who decided that since I love Sam Roberts so much, I should come up and sing 'Brother Down' with him. Anyone who knows me, knows that I play instruments, love music, but couldn't sing to save my life (Yvonne got all of those talent genes). But the crowd was VERY forgiving (they even clapped when it was over- I think in relief, but I'll take what I can get).

Man, is the spotlight ever addictive...I can suddenly realize why people want to be famous. I always thought that I just wanted to be rich (famous is for suckers-no privacy) but it feels good to be the center of attention. Looks like I need to learn some songs in my vocal range. Uh-oh, Ben created a monster :)

In other news, if you are looking to laugh out loud, wander over to www.popblender.com It's good stuff.

Itchy Feet

2006-10-15T21:48:00.000-07:00

I need to travel, to get out of town. I'm looking forward to Edmonton in November, but that's not going to be good enough, I can tell already. At the same time, I'm worried that if I leave, I just might not come back....and that is such a tempting thought.

I think the issue is that I just want to leave everything behind. Far, far behind.

Maybe it's time for a new city. Montreal perhaps? Toronto?

Decisions, Decisions.

House Hunt

2006-10-12T21:29:00.000-07:00

There is nothing more exhausting than looking for a new place to live. Boo. Someone give us a nice place for $1200 or less a month.

Please.

We can move in by Dec. 1 :)

The Interview

2006-10-10T21:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I had my interview at Roxy/Quiksilver today. I think it went really well, the ladies that interviewed me were great. All the girls that were there were all dressed so stylishly...It makes me crave dressing my age again...*sigh* I hope they call :)

Today's Horoscope

2006-10-09T01:13:00.000-07:00

'You are being pushed to confront old memories that rise from the depths of your dreams and your subconscious mind. Don't stuff your feelings back into the shadows. Talk or write about them. Actually, there are many ways to share your innermost journey with someone close. Don't pass up this great opportunity to experience a new level of intimacy. You'll need to take a risk to have a shot at the sweet reward.Monday, October 9, 2006 '

I find it funny to be greeted with this horoscope, when I've crawled out of bed at One AM to write an apology email that is three and a half months late and probably wouldn't have been sent. Just written, so I know that I had actually felt it.

But the horoscope never lies, does it? So, here we go.

I'm sorry I said things I didn't mean. I was trying to make you jealous. It was an immature thing to do, but I so desperately wanted you to say words to me I knew weren't going to come. I was steeling myself against disappointment, and guarding myself against hurt. It was a cowardly thing to do. I should have just told you that I was interested; that I've been interested since I first met you. That I think you are smart, creative, fun, gorgeous. That you are the best kisser that I've ever met. That you are the only man alive that knows about he second birth mark. I loathe to admit I was motivated by fear; but there it is. You are so easy to be with, that I can easily see forever with you. I am young, and that is a terrifying thought for a woman who has never committed to anyone for longer than six weeks.

I also know that my complications freak you out a bit. This hurts me, but I've never given you a chance to rise to the occasion, have I? I've just assumed you are like the others; that you will turn away instead of being strong enough to see the woman beneath challenges that have been thrown at her. I'll beat them all, eventually. But you probably already know that about me.

I know the same is true for you, even if you haven't figured it out yet. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. It's all there, inside you. You'll find it when you need it.

I hope you find what you are looking for. You are a good man, one who deserves happiness. I hope that one day we may even talk again as friends, at the very least.

Until that day, I will hold the memory of you in my bed, wrapped in each other, close to my heart. I can still feel the caress of your hand sweep my back, my arm. The thought keeps me warm in an empty room.

Homeward Bound

2006-10-08T01:05:00.000-07:00

It's been a really long time since I've been to the boonies. Suburbia seems like such a lifetime away; growing up in Millwoods guarantees that there is nothing to do on a Friday night unless you are willing to jump in a car and go somewhere, which only reinforces the belief that you live in the middle of nowhere.

Today, at One in the PM, I decided to adventure to Fabricana. After a brief chat with translink, I was assured that it really did take and hour and a half to get there. AN HOUR AND A HALF. That's right, I spent 3 hours on a bus today. But that's ok, I saw many of the highlights of Richmond (re: none) and started reminising about the 'hood. Of the many mornings waiting in the blistering cold for a bus to pleasepleaseplease come. Or, on the days when I was running behind, to pleasepleaseplease be a few minutes off schedule...because the next one was not coming for another half hour, and I'd surely be late, or a popsicle.

I thought of the ugly ass bus shelters, and realized that bus shelters are universally ugly. No wonder taking the bus is such a reduction of social status; who would want to be seen waiting at such a homely and uncomfortable place? Graffitti, advertisments and uncomfortable benches (if any) are the highlights of so many public transportation systems. I wondered what it would be like if each neighbourhood could 'decorate' their own bus stops. Would Yaletown be sleek, concrete and metal chaise lounges? Shaunessy would be scripted Wrought Iron benches and trash bins. Any my neighborhood? hmm, I picture cobbled benches with enormous trees as cover.

That being neither here nor there, all that quality bus time had me longing for edmo; one month 'till lift off.

Happy turkey day, people. I am thankful for you all. Your love gives me strength. Let's pray it also gives me advances baking skills, my second pumpkin pie is about the come out of the oven.

Fashion (turn to the left!)

2006-10-06T20:51:00.000-07:00

Well team,
I went to my first audition on wednesday morning. It was for a certain Host Hunt,(the waiver says I'm never allowed to speak of what happened, how hilarious is that?) because I figure if someone wants to send me around the world to sit front row at runway shows, then send me backstage to interview the designers, that's ok with me. A weekly article about fashion? Still ok by me. Could I ever give the glamour of NHW? It wouldn't be easy, but I could manage.

How hard could it be? I whipped up a little resume, highlighting my relevant experience, got there early and met the rest of the keeners, and prepared to rock the Aud. Except that when I got in front of the camera, I felt distinctly uncomfortable. I forgot how hard it is to be yourself when you are being taped. I mean, there is NO escape from the eyes; they can pause and rewind and watch over, and over. Suddenly I am doing all these mannerisms that aren't ME; I've got my hand on my hips, I'm flinging flirtatious looks over my shoulder. All in a 15 second throw to the camera (which I'm sure I royally buggered). Yeesh. Well, they told us if anything interesting happened, they'd let us know by the 14th, but I'm not holding my breath. I will say this though; I met a very cool new friend, and I was one of perhaps 5 women who did not look like an eighties reject. Cold comfort, I suppose :)

In other breaking news, I've got an interview at Quicksilver next week. That could be very cool. We'll have to see :) Yeah for Fashion! Let the weekend of sewing begin! (I'm making hot skirts, and two halloween costumes. Christine and Kim are gonna look good.)

Thank you, Stephen

2006-10-01T23:18:00.000-07:00

Have you ever listen to an old favorite song, one you haven't heard, I mean really haven't listened to in a long time. Isn't it weird to find that old songs have new meaning?

So I dedicate this blog to Stephen Jenkins, the lead singer of Third Eye Blind. Your debut album defined High School for me, and your lyrics are still relevant. Some songs make my gut clench in remembered angst of unrequited love; one that haunts me to this day. So I will include two sets of lyrics today. The first being 'The Background' the second being 'Motorcycle Drive-by.' One of pain, one of freedom. I still feel the pain, I still fight for the freedom. I hope to one day to be guiltless and free, instead of having the words they say so lightly only be for you.

THE BACKGROUND
(Jenkins, Cadogan)

Everything is quiet, Since you're not around,
And I live in the numbness now.
In the background.
I do the things we did before,
I walk Haight Street to the store,
And they say where's that crazy girl?
You don't get drunk on red wine, And fight no more,
I don't see you anymore,
Since the hospital,
The plans I make still have you in them,
Cause you come swimming into view,
And I'm hanging on your words like I always used to do,
The words they use so lightly, I only feel for you,
I only know because I carry you around,
In the background.
I'm in the background

Words they come and memories all repeat,
Lift your head while they change the hospital sheets,
I would never lie to you, No
I would never lie to you, No
I felt you long after we were through.
When we were through

The plans I make still have you in them,
Cause you come swimming into view,
And I'm hanging on your words like I always used to do,
The words they use so lightly, I only feel for you,
I only know because I carry you around,
In the background.

Cause I felt you long after we were through.

When you come swimming into view,
And I'm hanging on your words like I always used to do,
The words they use so lightly, I only feel for you,
I only know because I'm way, I'm way,
In the background,
I'm in the background

MOTORCYCLE DRIVE BY
(Jenkins)

Summer time and the wind is blowing outside in lower Chelsea.
And I don't know what I'm doing in this city,
The sun is always in my eyes,
It crashes through the windows, And I'm sleeping on the couch,
When I came to visit you,
That's when I knew, That I could never have you,
I knew that before you did,
Still I'm the one who's stupid,
And there's this burning, Like there's always been,
I've never been so alone, And I've never been so alive.
Visions of you on a motorcycle drive by,
The cigarette ash flies in your eyes, And you don't mind,
you smile,
And say the world doesn't fit with you.
I don't believe you, You're so serene.
Careening through the universe, Your axis on a tilt, You're guiltless and free,
I hope you take a piece of me with you,
And there's things I would like to do that you don't believe in,
I would like to build something, Buy you'll never going see it happen,
And there's this burning, Like there's always been,
I've never been so alone, And I've,
I've never been so alive,

And there's this burning, There is this burning ay ay ay.
Where's the soul. I want to know, New York City is evil.
The surface is everything, but I could never do that,
Someone would see through that.
And this is the last time, We'll be friends again.
I'll get over you, you'll wonder, who I am.
And there's this burning, Just like there's always been,
I've never been so alone, alone, alive, alive, I've never been so alive, so alive

I go home to the coast. It starts to rain, I paddle out on the water alone,
Taste the salt and taste the pain. I'm not thinking of you again,
Summer dies and swells rise,
The sun goes down in my eyes,
See this rolling wave,
Darkly coming to take me home,

And I never been so alone, And I've never been so alive.

Trauma drama

2006-08-31T21:03:00.000-07:00

shock
horror
disbelief
betrayal

John Mayer + Jessica Simpson = Christine running for the toilet

7 times lucky

2006-07-26T22:14:00.000-07:00

I went to go see Sam Roberts last night. It's the seventh time I've seen him live, and he never dissapoints. Whether it's his performace, the location, the croud or the combination, I always have a good time at his concerts.

This one was at the Shadbolt Center in Deer Lake Park, Burnaby. What a beautiful place! I can hardly wait to go back and see David Gray. The croud was so entertaining to watch; it was a bizarre mix of hipsters, scenesters, preps and rockers...with some families thrown into the mix. I not-so-jokingly mentioned to Mel that it appeared that we found where the 80's came to die....I've never seen such visually offensive retro in my life. It was nothing if not entertaining, though :)

I think what always ends up reaching me, though, are the lyrics of his songs. They pull me in by the heart, and I always feel what he is singing...As he was playing his new music, I realized that I've already got most of it memorized, but I still find new meaning every time I hear it. So few artists can do that for me. So many of his songs are pieces of my life; moments, memories, travels and representations of how I felt or how I now feel. There were moments in the middle of the rocking, screaming crowd that I really wanted someone to share the moment with. Someone who would understand what a verse meant to me, or could even recognize that it DID mean something to me...someone to sway to 'Paranoia' with, or to make out with during 'Taj Mahal'(or for that matter, during 'Uprising down Under' and 'With a Bullet'). I think that I need a to bring a boy with me next time. That's the only way I can think of to improve the concert experience :)

In other news...anyone want to go to Sarah Harmer? Anyone? Call me on my NEW PHONE (razr baby...sexy!)

2006-07-12T22:16:00.000-07:00

a man who has never dropped the ball

Hyped

2006-07-12T20:56:00.000-07:00

It was with much glee that I purchased tickets to the John Mayer/ Sheryl Crow concert this morning (hard at work, or hardly working? You may ask...) While I consider myself a fan of Sheryl Crows', I only own her first album. It is my younger sister that is the hard core Sheryl fan.Lucky for her I bought her a ticket, since the concert is only 2 days before her 21st birthday.

In the case of Mr Mayer, however, I am devout. I am soooooo excited about seeing him live, it is bordering ree diculous. All the people I know who have attended his shows say that he is amazing, and all the interviews I have seen him in indicate to me that he is as charismatic as I believe him to be. His appearances on the Dave Chappelle show let us know he is a funny, funny man. His lyrics are poetic, and guitarmanship (is that a word? it is now.) is truly awe inspiring.

Here is my concern. I think he is starting to believe his own hype. And we all know how that could end.

What could provoke such a though from a loyal fan?

The new song he has posted on his myspace page, actually. Titled 'Waiting for the world to change' it is the most trite piece of anti war garbage I've ever had the misfortune to hear. Here is the thing though-I'm just assuming it's anti war, because it's clearly anti something, but that something never gets named. it's the equivalent to turning a Neal Young song into the muzak you'd hear in an elevator. My disappointment knows no bounds. When he posted the lyrics, and I thought they were kind of weak, but thought, heeeeey, this is John we're talking about here. When he puts music to it, it'll probably sound great. So much for that thought.

It literally is a 'poor me' song. From the likes of John Mayer? I thought he was better than that. If Continuum is full of it, then I'll consider it the end of my crush. If people buy it by the millions and rave about how amazing it is, I will consider him the new pop king, and when Britney finally divorces KFed, they can get married and have lots of trite american babies.

He better not dissapoint me. Right now, I need a man in my life who won't drop the ball.

Diss Organization

2006-07-11T19:36:00.000-07:00

Do you live to work, or work to live?

These days, if it weren't for my outside interests, work would surely drive me wild. My boss is crazy, my company treats us terribly, and I'm halfway to 6 months. At first, I was all gung-ho to do two years, and consider myself able to search for a much better paying job. Now I think it'll be a miracle if I last 6 months. Getting up in the morning is brutal.

I blame management. I love my coworkers. My job is not glamourous, but it is rewarding. Our clients are good people, trying to run their business, and give their customers good service.

But we are not encouraged to think outside the box, find more efficient ways to do things, or even work outside our job description. We have no clearly defined procedure. There is no job training. We don't get benefits, and the HR policies they do have aren't observed.

Why the hell am I still working there? Especially since it's not even a job in my field?

I love my coworkers,they have become my circle of friends in this new city. I appreciate that I am earning valuable experience. As someone only 1 year out of university, that is important to me.

Not important enough to leave my ethics at the door, however. If things don't change really, really soon, I think I'm going to have to bail. *sigh* I'm so tired of job hunting. I think it's more a case of I am really, really bad at working for someone else. Maybe I just need to start sewing again.

Time to start sketching :)

Aisle-Alter-Him

2006-07-04T21:08:00.000-07:00

I've often wondered why women think that they can change men. I truly believe that many women think that men are 'projects.'

They just need a little touching up.

Or maybe a lot.

I'm not talking about taking him to Banana Republic and tossing the polyester dragon print t-shirts, I'm talking about turning someone who is a scatter brained RPG freak into a charismatic theatre junkie.

Where does this delusion stem from- the love of makeovers? That love can only explain so much.

I also ponder this because if the roles were reversed, and a man was trying to change you, you would be horrified! You would be insulted! With righteous indignation, you would kick his sorry ass to the curb.

and yet....
I think about how much I change when I first meet a guy. I research all the stuff he's into, so I know what he's talking about, and can have an educated opinion. Or I happily play dumb, so he'll teach me, and we can bond over stuff that I otherwise could care less about. I find out what he likes...change my hair (ok, so that's easy for me) What do you like? Blonde, brunette, redheads? No problem. You like 'em goth, preppy, prissy? Costuming is what I do.

So where am I in all this?

That's my current question. Is the reason women think they can change men because they are so willing to change themselves to get into a relationship to begin with? Why is that acceptable? So acceptable in fact, that it's barely acknowledged?

But mostly, WHY at the mature age of 23, gainfully employed and surrounded by loving friends and family, do I do it, and with such gusto?!

I like to think that there is not a damn thing wrong with my self esteem. I like myself as a person. I have values and morals. That's not to say I don't have insecurities, but I don't let them rule my life or affect my relationships....or is that naive of me? To not acknowledge that my insecurities affect everything that I do, albeit unconsciously?

Or is this all just an excuse to not push myself, to ignore opportunity for personal growth?

This is digressing...

What I am pondering is why are we so willing to change if we percieve ourself unworthy of anothers love, but so unwilling to change if we think ourselves too good for someone's love?