Today's Horoscope
'You are being pushed to confront old memories that rise from the depths of your dreams and your subconscious mind. Don't stuff your feelings back into the shadows. Talk or write about them. Actually, there are many ways to share your innermost journey with someone close. Don't pass up this great opportunity to experience a new level of intimacy. You'll need to take a risk to have a shot at the sweet reward.Monday, October 9, 2006 'I find it funny to be greeted with this horoscope, when I've crawled out of bed at One AM to write an apology email that is three and a half months late and probably wouldn't have been sent. Just written, so I know that I had actually felt it.
But the horoscope never lies, does it? So, here we go.
I'm sorry I said things I didn't mean. I was trying to make you jealous. It was an immature thing to do, but I so desperately wanted you to say words to me I knew weren't going to come. I was steeling myself against disappointment, and guarding myself against hurt. It was a cowardly thing to do. I should have just told you that I was interested; that I've been interested since I first met you. That I think you are smart, creative, fun, gorgeous. That you are the best kisser that I've ever met. That you are the only man alive that knows about he second birth mark. I loathe to admit I was motivated by fear; but there it is. You are so easy to be with, that I can easily see forever with you. I am young, and that is a terrifying thought for a woman who has never committed to anyone for longer than six weeks.
I also know that my complications freak you out a bit. This hurts me, but I've never given you a chance to rise to the occasion, have I? I've just assumed you are like the others; that you will turn away instead of being strong enough to see the woman beneath challenges that have been thrown at her. I'll beat them all, eventually. But you probably already know that about me.
I know the same is true for you, even if you haven't figured it out yet. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. It's all there, inside you. You'll find it when you need it.
I hope you find what you are looking for. You are a good man, one who deserves happiness. I hope that one day we may even talk again as friends, at the very least.
Until that day, I will hold the memory of you in my bed, wrapped in each other, close to my heart. I can still feel the caress of your hand sweep my back, my arm. The thought keeps me warm in an empty room.
posted by This love gets easier the more it's sung to @ 1:13 AM
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