Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Aisle-Alter-Him

I've often wondered why women think that they can change men. I truly believe that many women think that men are 'projects.'

They just need a little touching up.

Or maybe a lot.

I'm not talking about taking him to Banana Republic and tossing the polyester dragon print t-shirts, I'm talking about turning someone who is a scatter brained RPG freak into a charismatic theatre junkie.

Where does this delusion stem from- the love of makeovers? That love can only explain so much.

I also ponder this because if the roles were reversed, and a man was trying to change you, you would be horrified! You would be insulted! With righteous indignation, you would kick his sorry ass to the curb.

and yet....
I think about how much I change when I first meet a guy. I research all the stuff he's into, so I know what he's talking about, and can have an educated opinion. Or I happily play dumb, so he'll teach me, and we can bond over stuff that I otherwise could care less about. I find out what he likes...change my hair (ok, so that's easy for me) What do you like? Blonde, brunette, redheads? No problem. You like 'em goth, preppy, prissy? Costuming is what I do.

So where am I in all this?

That's my current question. Is the reason women think they can change men because they are so willing to change themselves to get into a relationship to begin with? Why is that acceptable? So acceptable in fact, that it's barely acknowledged?

But mostly, WHY at the mature age of 23, gainfully employed and surrounded by loving friends and family, do I do it, and with such gusto?!

I like to think that there is not a damn thing wrong with my self esteem. I like myself as a person. I have values and morals. That's not to say I don't have insecurities, but I don't let them rule my life or affect my relationships....or is that naive of me? To not acknowledge that my insecurities affect everything that I do, albeit unconsciously?

Or is this all just an excuse to not push myself, to ignore opportunity for personal growth?

This is digressing...

What I am pondering is why are we so willing to change if we percieve ourself unworthy of anothers love, but so unwilling to change if we think ourselves too good for someone's love?

posted by This love gets easier the more it's sung to @ 9:08 PM